I rewarded my child for the effort she put into studying — not the grade she got.
She hasn’t even received her results yet. We still have two weeks to wait. But I knew waiting to see her marks before acknowledging her hard work didn’t feel right. So instead, I chose to celebrate the effort.
I ordered her a whole bunch of coloured markers and water paints to keep her busy during the holidays. Not the ordinary ones either — the fancy glitter markers and metallic water paints. These kids have so many options these days; half of me is jealous.
And the more I thought about it, the more certain I became that this was the right thing to do.
Studying with her is hard. Really hard. Every small bit that goes in feels like a victory. Concentrating doesn’t come easily to her, and sitting still for long periods takes everything she’s got. So if something stuck — even a little — that matters.
I want her to know that her value isn’t tied to a number on a page. That it doesn’t matter what grade she gets as long as she truly tried her best. Because I’ve seen how much effort it takes for her just to show up and try.
This wasn’t about spoiling her. It wasn’t about lowering the bar. It was about recognising the silent struggle that no report card ever shows.
Sometimes effort deserves to be celebrated more than outcomes. And this time, that’s exactly what I chose to do.