The Truth We Don’t Like to Admit
How often do you lie to your kids? I’m not even going to ask if you do… because we all do.
But what happens when they lie to us?
How do we react?
Do we take it personally?
Can lies be measured?
If it comes from us, it’s okay…
The Little Lies We Tell
We were on holiday, spending time at the beach. By the third day, the weather turned — windy, cloudy, not great beach weather. But I knew that wouldn’t stop her from wanting to go. So we told her there were blue bottles in the water. She’s terrified of blue bottles. She was stung once, and it was traumatic enough. And just like that, no nagging. No arguing. No back and forth. It was easier. But it was still a lie.
When They Lie Back
That’s the part we don’t always want to admit. We tell little white lies all the time. Sometimes because it’s easier than explaining. Sometimes because we don’t have the energy. Sometimes because we think we’re protecting them. We say things to avoid meltdowns, to keep the peace, to get through the day.
But when they lie? It hits differently. “How could you lie to me?” “Why didn’t you just tell the truth?” Face it, we take it so personally.
The Question We Should Be Asking
But maybe the better question is: Why did they feel like they had to lie? Did they feel safe enough to tell the truth? Or were they scared of the reaction they would get? Were they trying to avoid trouble, disappointment, or pressure? Because most of the time, kids don’t lie to hurt us. They lie to protect themselves.
When It’s More Than Just a Phase
Then there’s a different side to it. There are children who lie constantly. About everything. And there are parents who do the same. If you feel like your child is lying all the time — not just the occasional “I didn’t do it” or “I brushed my teeth” — then it might be something deeper.
And that’s when you don’t try to play detective. You don’t try to be Sherlock Holmes. You get help. You speak to a professional.
What Really Matters
Because the truth is — all kids lie. It’s part of growing up. It’s part of testing boundaries. It’s part of learning right from wrong. But how we respond to it? That’s what shapes them. Do we shut them down? Or do we create a space where they feel safe enough to be honest — even when it’s hard?
Maybe It Starts With Us
Maybe it starts with us being a little more honest too. Even about the small things. I know — being honest, even about the small things, is easier said than done.
I’m always lying about not having chocolate in the house. Because sometimes it’s just easier to say that than get into a whole debate about why I don’t think she needs another one when she’s already had one… and how too much isn’t good for her.
But I’ve been trying to do it differently. Now I tell her she can’t have another one today… but tomorrow she’ll have a little treasure hunt to find it. And that changes everything. It turns a “no” into something she looks forward to. It avoids the argument without needing the lie. It’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning. I’m not striving for perfection i’m just trying to learn to be a better parent. But maybe that’s the point. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about raising kids who tell the truth. It’s about raising kids who feel safe enough to. 💛